There I was, age 25 or so, gazing at the scenery of Versailles, the palace of Louis XIV, outside Paris. The image reminded me of something my mother used to say: “All young people are beautiful.”
I remember the outfit I was wearing...dressy by today’s standards for touring. Heels, stockings, a black sweater with the skirt from a lovely mohair walking suit. We dressed up in those days for traveling...no sneakers and denims.
On that day I was in the company of a friend, Jack, from San Francisco, where I had lived prior to my stint with the Foreign Service. He was on a world tour with a wealthy, elderly man who wanted Jack along to carry the traveler’s checks and make arrangements for him should he die.
We had a personal female guide, a private sedan and driver, and after some sightseeing in Paris we drove out to Versailles for a delicious lunch at an elegant outdoor patio. That’s where the photo was taken.
I thought: Who was that girl?
She was a risk taker--left everything behind to live and work in a foreign country. That was so long ago, and yet -- that period in my life is so vivid.
Much has transpired since then. Marriage, family, working life, retirement, widowhood, and increasing age.
Living on my own I sometimes feel stressed and overwhelmed by the conditions of not just my life, but the conditions of the world.
My head will swim with the latest media circus election news, as I try not to engage anyone in talking politics. It’s so partisan! Then I’m immersed in pragmatic concerns such as RMDs (required minimum distributions), long term care planning, social security issues, drought-stricken yard maintenance, health and fitness management, and attempts to get my book manuscript off my computer and into print.
So much to do. Flagging energy. Sometimes I feel stuck. Sometimes I forget I’m a Science of Mind minister. Sometimes I fail to see the perfection behind all things.
Where’s the verve, joy, passion, boldness, inner vitality and adventurous spirit of that girl NOW, TODAY? Her story is from yesterday, faded into the dustbin of history. Yet she was illuminated with life, with possibility. The future lay before her.
Today I, facing my 79th birthday, need a new story. I need that verve, joy, passion, boldness, inner vitality and adventurous spirit.
Dr. Cara Barker, on her website (www.carabarker.com) has this to say: “Living in the gap between what was, the present, and what has not yet formed, is a course of secret anxiety and suffering. Learning how to address these times creatively and mindfully, brings transformation and healing.”
What would Ernest Holmes say?
“Every day is a fresh beginning, every day is the world made new...That moment in the eternal present when we are no longer conditioned by the past and when anticipation of the future does not condition the present -- we shall be free.”
And so it is.
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