Today is Valentine’s Day. Love is in the air, and candy, flowers and and fancy cards are being sent and received ... in the name of St. Valentine.
Yes, Valentine’s Day is named after a saint. According to legend, he was a priest in the time of Emperor Claudius II in third century Rome. Claudius decided that single, rather than married, men were better suited for battle. So he outlawed marriage for young men...as they were his potential pool of soldiers. Valentine rebelled against this decree, and performed marriages for young lovers in secret. But when discovered, he was imprisoned and sentenced to death.
While in prison, the legend goes, he fell in love with the jailer's daughter and sent her a farewell letter before he was beheaded. He signed it "from your Valentine." Thus...the first Valentine, associated with romantic, passionate love.
But love goes beyond this concept of the romantic love. As Ernest Holmes says."Love is an essence, an atmosphere, which defies analysis, as does Life Itself. It is that which IS and cannot be explained...The essence of love, while elusive, pervades everything, fires the heart, stimulates the emotions, renews the soul and proclaims the spirit. Only love knows love, and love knows only love."
I received an email the other day entitled, “What Does Love Mean? See How 4-8 Year-Old Kids Describe Love.” The article has been around for awhile; perhaps you’ve received it. Supposedly a group of professionals asked four to eight-year old children, “What does love mean?” The 20 responses were deeper than expected and quite moving.
For example, a six-year old responded:: "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.” We could all use that one, even on a global scale. No doubt the world would be a better place.
I love this response by an eight-year old: "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
It reminded me of the time I was caring for my husband before he transitioned. When he was in bed for the night he would say, “Thank you darling, for everything you did for me today. I love you.” The first time he said that I was taken aback; where did that come from? But no matter. It felt good. And I began saying it back to him. We had forgotten to say “I love you” to each other. It made those final weeks more loving and easier.
These words are from a seven-year old: "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Yes. That reminded me of Christmas with my daughter and her family. We went to Palm Springs for the holiday; I bought a beautiful pop-up Christmas tree from the Internet and we took it to Palm Springs with a bag of gifts, mostly for the kids, ages seven and ten. And it was wonderful fun to see them opening the gifts, playing with the dancing robot I found at the mall, and then just sitting around, enjoying the family time and the love that was in the room.
A four-year-old said: "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.” So even when we’re tired from whatever challenges we’re experiencing, that love for those we hold most dear can, as Ernest Holmes says, fire the heart and renew the soul. We can still smile when we’re loved and loving.
The response judged most caring was that of a four-year-old whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."
Sometimes, that’s all we need.
And so it is.
