Who's Got My Back?

Collage of husband and protector of 43 years

I was attracted to the title of the book, Girls With the Grandmother Faces, as I figure I’m one of those girls. We’re late fifties, on into sixties and seventies. Our children are grown and gone, spouses gone too...mostly we outlived them.  And we have quite a few bonus years ahead of us with choices to make. Many of us enjoy good health, and freedom to travel, educate ourselves and be active in the world around us.

When we lunch with friends, we’re the girls with the grandmother faces. We seem younger than my grandmother, who passed at 63 or my mother at 73. Now here I am, well past that, with husband of 43 years gone, and living the life of a widow... with more choices.

Off and on I contemplate my choices. Stay in the home, move near my kids, expand my interests here, start fresh in a new place. Usually I procrastinate, but lately I’ve been decluttering, thinking at least I’ll get rid of stuff so I CAN move.

And this is definitely challenging. I looked through my husbands voluminous writing files, wondering what to throw away from these residues of the past. I found long letters, unfinished novels, short stories, photos of past crushes, and more.

I came across a note in one of his files. “Once I asked Elizabeth why she wanted to marry me and she burst out: ‘Larry, you’re a jewel.’ I decided soon after that someone with such weak evaluatory powers required my protection in the world,” he wrote on a scrap of paper.

Well, protect me he did. Wonderful husband and father to the two children we raised. Good provider. Good money manager. Good decision maker. Good trip planner. Really great at what he called the “maintenance mode of life,” which he didn’t really like.

In any case, I’m left with it and I’m dealing with it. In the midst of the decluttering, the water heater sprung a leak. No big deal, I say. I’ll replace it, which I did.  When I see the laminate floor curling up, I check the Internet and learn there may be mold growing underneath and I should call my insurance company. Which I did. And the adjuster came out, and things began rolling.

Water remediation company comes in with fans and other equipment to dry the place out. They look at the tiles under the flooring...uh oh...could be asbestos. Asbestos tester comes out Yup! asbestos.

Water heater out. All furniture, everything out. Stripped to the walls. Whatever can’t be stuffed in the garage or guest bedroom goes to off-site storage. Asbestos people come, seal off the room, do their thing. Don’t go in the room for 24 hours.

OK. They’re gone. Water remediation equipment picked up. Water heater back, so I have hot water, but no laundry equipment. Next step...construction guy negotiates with insurance guy so we move ahead to fix floor, walls that had to be removed, etc.

Went out to look at my cypress trees. A bunch of them are dying. Have to deal with them. But first -  taxes! Have flat tire as I pull into tax place. No worries. Triple A to the tire store, four new tires.

Yesterday, health challenge arose. Time to visit Kaiser and see what’s what. Blood pressure rising.

I gotta say...I look back on that protection. I would love that. That was another era.

Today is a new day, new choices to make.  Learn to trust my own decisions. Get in a Wonder Woman pose. Be a woman of power and authority. Take some risks and discover my own capabilities. Live  alone and like it. Adapt to change.  Freedom, yes, plus responsibility. Opportunity to enrich my life and grow.

Who’s got my back now?

Ernest Holmes and Science of Mind. "Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life"  "Treat and Use Your Feet" "Act as If and You will Be." " Life lies open to you, full rich and abundant." And as Dr. Kenn Gordon, Spiritual Director of Centers for Spiritual Living, wrote in a recent email: Have "a profound faith that Infinite Spirit is unfolding, evolving and expressing as all of creation, all of the time."

And so it is.

Power Positions

Have you heard of the Wonder Woman pose? Hands on hips, feet apart, standing up straight and tall. This is an expansive, high power position; it stimulates  the dominance hormone.

Then there’s the tall and proud, like Rocky, hands up in the air...signaling "I’m passionate, confident, authentic, captivating and comfortable. I have Presence. I'm a Winner." And not only do other people see me that way, but it changes how I feel about myself.

So let’s bring our boldest, most authentic selves to our biggest challenges, says social psychologist and Harvard business professor Amy Cuddy in her book, Presence.  How do we demonstrate presence? By accessing our personal power. And how do we access our personal power? By making small changes to everyday body language, behavior and mental attitude.

Her research indicates that by developing Presence, we can free ourselves from fear in high pressure situations and perform at our best.

You’ve got a big job interview coming up? Don’t wait in a low power position,  shrunk into yourself, making yourself smaller, she advises. This generates the stress hormone. Don’t sit there hunched over your smartphone in the iPosture, which mimics the low power position.

Go somewhere private, and for two minutes, stand in a Power Position. Be Wonder Woman. Be Rocky. Feel confident, assertive and alive before you tackle that challenge.

In Science of Mind we use Spiritual Mind Treatment to access spiritual power to help us build the life we desire. We treat and use our feet. We don't sit back and do nothing. Treatment is active, says Ernest Holmes. Our action, our moving of our feet, is to provide the mental mold for our desires. The Law will take care of providing the perfect substance to fill that mold.

Presence can help us develop that mental mold. We say, "Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life." Cuddy goes a step further:  Our body language, our bodies change our minds; our minds change our behavior; and our behavior changes our outcomes.

And if you feel like a fraud, then fake it. Not just till you make it, but fake it till you BECOME it.

That dovetails with our teachings. ACT AS IF you cannot fail. ACT AS IF your are healthy, wealthy, loved and loving, creative and wise. When you ACT AS IF, you are getting your whole mind - conscious and subconscious - involved in the creative process.

As you embody the desire, your subconscious accepts these behaviors, thoughts and feelings as natural, as normal, for you. As Ernest Holmes says: ACT AS IF AND YOU WILL BE.

And so it is.

Here's a link to a video made by Linnaea Mallette of a short training talk I did on this topic. 
https://youtu.be/GHXxEgJRuw4

For information on Linnaea go to: http://LinnaeaMallette.com.

With Spring, I Set A New Direction

I shake off the lethargy of winter and set course for new directions as this extra hour of daylight signals the coming of Spring. I plant thoughts of love, forgiveness, gratitude, beauty, wisdom and more. I know that my thoughts, like seedlings, grow into the fruit of my experience.

As I anticipate the arrival of Spring, I move from darkness to light, into the light and love of the Divine Source, mirrored in my own inner self. I open my heart and mind to shift my thinking into higher levels of clarity, insight and stamina, and listen for divine guidance to propel me into a life of vigor, strength, satisfaction and illumination.

I embrace the flowering blossoms of plants and trees with the spring rain, and all the beauties of this earthly experience, and know that it nourishes my divinity and my humanity, while on this plane of existence.

With gratitude, I release my word into the Law of Mind, knowing it returns to me multiplied abundantly.

And so it is.