Father's Day 2017

Today is Father’s Day, so I decided to ask two fathers I know this question: What do you like best about being a Father? They both said basically the same thing. The children themselves: the gifts, the treasures that they are.

To have created these beautiful, new human beings, with their own unique personalities and talents ...THAT is a fantastic gift.

I asked the two men what was their biggest concern as fathers, and again their answers were similar. They want to see their children thrive. Fathers know the world can be challenging to navigate, so they want their children to be prepared, to be strong physically, mentally and emotionally.

They are teachers, even when they are not specifically teaching. They teach by example, by the choices they make, by the risks they encourage their children to take, by the the love, patience, caring and support they give their children.

Of course not all fathers are alike, and not everyone has happy memories of their fathers or perhaps no memories at all of an absent father.

When I look back on my own childhood, I was blessed in that I had very supportive parents, each in their own way. Mother was the communicator, the family switchboard, and we could take all our troubles to her for comfort and we had long conversations at the kitchen table.

Father, being Swedish, was more stoic. He never said, “you’re important, I love you.” But he was always there. He supported the family in that traditional way of the times. He could be counted on.

Out of my memory comes one incident. I was almost sixteen, so time to get a driver’s license. We drove a bit around our  small West Virginia town, and then went down to the country club, where he was a charter member. He directed me to drive between two tall trees on the grass, which I did.  When I asked him to teach me how to park, he said it wasn’t necessary. I could always pull into a parking garage and they would do it.

Being the manager of the local toy factory, the chief employer in the area, he was a big frog in a small pond. When it came time for my driver’s test, he simply called one of the state troopers to come up to the house and we drove around a bit and voila! I passed. Years later, when I needed to drive AND park in the big city of Seattle, I took formal driver’s ed training.

For six summers I worked at the Marx toy factory, in the shipping department doing typing and filing. Once, having fun with a co-worker, I wrote a satirical poem about working there.

Although poem is lost in the dustbin of history,  I remember phrases such as “I sold my fingers into slavery,” but “don’t accuse Marx of knavery,” and it went on from there.
Someone in the office got hold of the poem, copied it and tried to send it to the company’s New York office to embarrass my father.

When my father came home from work, he had the poem in his hand. It was caught in the mail room before mailing. He simply looked at me accusingly.  “How did you know it was mine?” I asked. “Because no one else had the vocabulary,” was all he said about it.

One other memory came to me. He and my mother visited us in California six months before he died. As he was leaving to go to the airport, he turned around, shook my hand and said: “It was nice knowing you!” That was his unique way of saying: I love you.”

Here’s a poem by an anonymous author from the Internet: A Father's Love

A father is respected because

He gives his children leadership...

Appreciated because

He gives his children care...

Valued because

He gives his children time...

Loved because

He gives his children the one thing

They treasure most - himself.

And so it is.

A Perfect Life

If you were to describe your Perfect Life, what would it look like?

Thomas Leonard, founding guru of the life coaching profession, developed a program around "The Perfect Life." In his writings, he acknowledges the cultural bias we have about the word "perfect." But he says it IS possible to have a perfect life, and in many ways our lives are already perfect.

When we think about having a perfect life, however, we may get tripped up with the notion of perfectionism. Perfect is a very relative term and very personal. Perfectionism can be cultural, when we try to be what everyone else says we should be, rather than who we are. Perfect is our own definition and we alone decide what would make a perfect life for ourselves.

So if I were so bold as to think that I could actually craft my perfect life, what would I create? I, like many of us, limit what we even THINK we can have in  our lives. Leonard's intention is to rattle us into a new way of thinking.  And rather than use "softer" words such as "authentic, genuine or great," we stick with "perfect." There is power in using the word perfect and to see that perfection is by our own design, free from cultural definitions.

The idea of a Perfect Life is not alien to Religious Scientists. Ernest Holmes, in The Science of Mind, writes frequently of perfection. It is the real state of being; complete so that nothing is wanting. IT is ideal faultlessness; the divine attribute of complete excellence. We are whole, perfect and complete...regardless of appearances, as we are individualized expressions of God.

Holmes recommends that we meditate daily on the Perfect Life, and to daily embody the Great Ideal, which is a royal road to freedom, peace and happiness. "Let us learn to see, as God must, with a perfect Vision and say to ourselves: Perfect God within me, Perfect Life within me, which is God, come forth into expression through me as that which I am; lead me ever into the paths of perfection and cause me to see only the Good.

By this practice, the soul becomes illumined, acquaints itself with God and  is at peace. "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect."

Thomas Leonard takes the idea of a Perfect Life, and focuses on the pragmatic. He asks: What's perfect in your life right now? Then he asks, "What if your whole life were that perfect?" Now we have a starting point to look at what's currently working, and develop a plan to create that same perfection in other areas of our lives.

We examine our lives. Let's say we draw up a list of elements, some of which are already perfect and some we would like to perfect. Perhaps we can have a perfect office, a perfect career, a perfect relationship. We narrow down what we want to work on and shift into action mode.  Then we can use these elements, the perfect and the soon to be perfected, in a poem, collage, painting or other creative work...along with words that make them memorable. This helps to build energy toward manifestation of the perfect life that we desire.

With intention comes inspired actions. It's not so different from the familiar Science of Mind mantra: "Treat and Use Your Feet." Declare your truth, your intention in affirmative prayer, and then be proactive. One element at a time, shift and lift into The Perfect Life.

And so it is.

Leaning In

I’ve been reading Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In - Women, Work, and The Will to Lead. Sandberg is the chief operating officer of Facebook, and has an impressive resume including bachelor and MBA degrees from Harvard, and high ranking jobs at Google and the U.S. Treasury Dept.



In December 2010, she gave a TED talk titled "Why we have too few women leaders." She followed that up a few years later with the best-selling book, Lean In, in which she discusses not only workplace barriers that blunt women’s leadership roles, but also the internal, self-created and societal gender role barriers.


Lean in, she says, to break down barriers to female leadership. Let your voices be heard in business and politics.and go for leadership roles.  Lean In Circles have been established globally so that women can help each other with these issues.

What interested me the most about her thesis is how women unintentionally hold themselves back in their careers.

Do we fear we’re being too direct, which is not a negative for men?  In meetings, do we speak up or wait for the men to speak? Do we sit at the table, or along the sidelines where we won’t be so visible? 

Do we tell ourselves “we’re not qualified,” that we’re an impostor? Do we take the first salary offer or do we negotiate? Do we hear our own ideas ignored, and then given credence when delivered by a man? 

Do we discount our achievements?

As an example, she was listed fifth most powerful woman on Forbes annual “World’s 100 Most Powerful Women” in 2011, following German chancellor Angela Merkel, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, the Brazilian president and the CEO of Pepsi Co. 

She was embarrassed, shocked and horrified, and when congratulated, declared the list “ridiculous.” Her executive assistant admonished her about revealing her insecurity. Instead, just say “thank you.”

It brought back a memory of myself, a freshman in college, walking across campus to get my grades at Carnegie Tech and a classmate, walking with a boy I admired, called out: “Hey, I heard you got a 4.0.” And the boy said, “What a brain!” And of course that was a negative for a girl, even though Carnegie Tech was considered a brain factory for the guys. I was embarrassed rather than proud of my accomplishment. 
At other times I would hide my intelligence, until some teacher would notice my writing and hold it up to the class as a great example. Embarrassed again!

Sandberg wrote of muting her own achievements, starting at a young age. “I instinctively knew that letting my academic performance become known was a bad idea.”  Why is this? Because culturally we associate men with leadership and women with nurturing and being “nice.” If a woman is competent, intelligent and successful, she may not be “liked.” And so it’s a challenge to own one’s success, to claim credit for what one has accomplished.

So how does Science of Mind fit into this?  Although Sandberg is advocating for women, men can learn from her also. Men, as well as women, may put limitations on themselves. She asks, regarding the leadership-ambition gap: “What would you do if you weren't afraid?"

Without fear, we would be confident...confident to grow and challenge ourselves, to express ourselves completely.   

As Ernest Holmes says: Fear is the negation of confidence; it brings limitation and lack in its wake rather than the full, rich life we desire. 

And there is noting wrong in our desire for self-expression.  God is more completely expressed through the person who lives largely than through the one who lives meagerly.

He also says: “To overcome fear and to live without limits is the greatest adventure of the mind of man”...and of woman!

And so it is.

The Double Thread

I’ve been co-teaching a class based on Walter Starcke’s classic book, It’s All God.  His writings are very much in alignment with Religious Science.  In addition, he emphasizes what he calls “The Double Thread”... the intertwining of our humanity and our divinity.

He asks this question: How do I view myself? Am I Spirit having a human experience, or am I a human with divine potential? The way we answer reflects our priorities. Does the objective world of effects, our material world, take priority over Spirit? Do I think of myself primarily as an egocentric human, or as a spiritual being?

As a human with divine potential, I see myself primarily as a physical being subject to the limitations of the objective world. I may seek divine guidance outside of myself rather than from my own inner source.

As Spirit having a human experience, I am prioritizing my essential spiritual nature, my  higher consciousness -- my infinite, eternal, invisible self. I experience myself as consciousness first, and then as a physical body. Cause before effect.

The belief that one aspect is better than another is a trap, he says. Our humanity is a virtue, and even with the flaws that we perceive in ourselves or others, we are still God in action, because It’s ALL God.

Starcke emphasizes that these two aspects of ourselves -- our human and our spiritual aspects, are integrated into one whole. Let’s not try to balance these two aspects, but rather honor each and integrate them.

Back in 1945, the splitting of the atom released a huge explosion of energy. The invisible became visible, and the earthly collective consciousness experienced a shift. As humans, we are made  up of atoms.  So is it a huge leap to see ourselves as powerhouses of pure energy, as both the visible physical and the invisible spiritual?

Our every thought, every word can be electrically charged -- can flow outward as spiritual energy.

When we truly live in awareness of both our human and our spiritual selves, we can move into absolute knowing that everything that God is, I AM. We can double-think, as both human and spiritual, and make the metaphysical leap into  what Starcke calls “ascension consciousness.”

And so it is. 

Happiness

I was watching a PBS program recently on inspiring happiness and my reaction was: this sounds a lot like Science of Mind; these ideas are not exactly new. Ernest Holmes wrote about happiness and the power of positive thought in the early 20th Century.  “Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life” is a main idea in his book, Science of Mind.

News seems to focus on the negative, on the idea “if it bleeds, it leads.”  Who hasn’t come from being exposed to the news -- print, Internet, or television -- feeling down and depressed. Things seem bad and getting worse, and it affects our mood. It affects the race consciousness.

Ernest Holmes knew that, and wrote about it:  develop a positive mental atmosphere to power our journey through a life filled with love, peace, harmony, wealth, opportunity, good health and success.
Holmes’ philosophy differs in it’s spiritual component. As spiritual beings having a human experience, we can use the power of our thought, of our consciousness, of our thought vibrations, to create a magnificent human experience.

Today happiness is big business. Books, Internet sites, programs, corporate training and more.  In the book, Broadcasting Happiness, author and researcher in the emerging field of positive psychology Michelle Gielan says:  Change Your Story, Change Your Power; Change Your Broadcast, Change Your Power. A shift in mindset can improve not only your life, but the lives of others. Sound familiar?

She was a former TV journalist who tired of the emphasis on negative news, and developed a popular series on happiness for CBS. She then quit her job to co-found the Institute for Applied Positive Research.

Positive psychology and neuroscience research show that shifts in the way we communicate can ripple out to effect business and education, with higher productivity, better performance ratings, higher sales and lower levels of stress. 

For the news media, she recommends adopting “Transformative Journalism,” which is “better for the bottom line, better for the public’s health, and better for society.” It’s an “activating, engaging, solution-focused approach to covering news.” Highlight stories of successful action that people or organizations take in the face of challenges that lead to success., she says. Be optimistic; believe that change is possible, empower people to take action.

On the personal level, use power leads in communication with others. Have a positive, optimistic, and inspiring beginning to set the tone in any interaction. Even small words can have an impact, so pay attention.

In an interview on the website, Experience Life, she says: “What research is now helping us understand is how choosing to broadcast positive, optimistic, idea-generating messages — even during challenging circumstances — can fuel hope and inspire others.”

Years ago, Ernest Holmes predicted that the ideas in Science of Mind would go mainstream. We see that happening. From Oprah to the myriad of books, magazines, websites and more, the race consciousness is shifting and lifting.

And so it is.

Sad and Lonely Life

My family recently visited for the holidays, and we had a wonderful time. I commented to my grandson, who is 11, that it was so nice to have the family visiting, and to hear the sounds of fun and laughter in the house. To which he replied, "...and when we leave, Grandmama, you'll go back to your sad and lonely life."
   
Wow! My sad and lonely life! I added that to a question my son-in- law made on a previous visit, "Why are you still living in this relic?"

Hmmm!
  
 AM I living a sad and lonely life?... in my relic? No roommates, no pets...not even a goldfish, here in the home I've occupied some 44 years, the last eight years alone.  I don't feel sad and lonely. Basically I feel happy and connected. And as for the relic, I'm the queen of my domain and I like it.
   
I wondered what an Internet search would bring up for "sad and lonely life."  Whoa!  Pages upon pages.  Topping  the list was an article about "Donald Trump’s Sad, Lonely Life." Really?

Other links were: “Being Single: How to Handle Loneliness," "10 More Ideas to Help with Loneliness," "I am So Sad and Lonely that It is Killing Me," and articles, poems, song lyrics and images with poetic quotes. Amazon had entire books on sad and lonely, plus books on happiness - the basic cure.
  
 A sad and lonely elderly life search yielded links to articles and images of sad and lonely older people and how to help them.
  My grandson’s comment about my sad and lonely life reflected the perception, the race consciousness, that if we're living alone, we're destined to be sad and lonely.
   
An antidote to this attitude is in the book, Going Solo, the Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone by Eric Klinenberg, professor of sociology at NYU. 
  
According to his studies, a huge demographic shift has been taking place since the baby boom, with nearly 50% of American adults now single and one out of every seven adults living alone.  In 1950, only 22% of American adults were single. And most singletons, young and old, are now leading happy, active, and fulfilling lives.
   
This preference for the single life is happening globally. Klinenberg asks: “Why has living alone become so common in the world's most affluent societies? What makes it so compelling?” 
   
"Living alone helps us pursue sacred modern values --individual freedom, personal control and self-realization", he says.  "It allows us to do what we want, when we want, on our own terms. It liberates us from the constraints of a domestic partner’s needs and demands, and permits us to focus on ourselves.” Also,  it offers time and space for restorative solitude from busy lives and digital media.
  
 “It can help us to discover who we are, as well as what gives us meaning and purpose,” he adds. Although we could see this as very self-centered and selfish, it's a validating and uplifting message for the many singletons.

But if we're in that sad and lonely place, how can we be happy and connected? Emerson says: "If you want a friend, be a friend." Ernest Holmes says, "Cultivate an attitude of friendship toward everybody and everything. Learn to love all people, and you'll find plenty of people who return that love. We attract to us what we first become."

If our mental atmosphere is one of sadness and loneliness, then that is what we attract. That is what we become. 

Bottom line: send out love vibrations to become a love and friendship magnet.  As to sadness, he says,  “There is no sadness in the Spirit. It is happy and free, for It knows neither depression nor confusion, and we belong to It, and are in and of It"
    
So...sad and lonely, or happy and connected? It's our choice.

And so it is.

Humanity and Divinity

I recently visited my family in San Francisco for Thanksgiving, and also to celebrate my birthday. As I was preparing to buy my usual bus ticket home, my daughter -- who didn’t like me to ride the bus -- said, “Mom, you’re 79!”


What? You’re afraid I’ll have a heart attack on the bus? No. It turns out she felt guilty leaving me on the corner of Mason and O’Farrell to catch my shuttle bus back to Los Angeles, where I am dropped off in North Hollywood.

Long story short. She offered to pay for a private limo service to whisk me in luxury from door to door.  
And for the first time, I actually felt “elderly,” like I needed to be looked after. I know the hair has gone gray and I’ve slowed down a bit, but “elderly?” 

Nah! Gotta think youthing! Gotta create a mental atmosphere around strength, vitality, radiant good health! And what would Ernest Holmes say to this unexpected offer?

Accept, absolutely! Tootling down I-5 in a sleek, black chauffeur driven Cadillac is a joyous experience. And a lovely gift. 

To put this in perspective,  I had decided to pay for six months of vocal lessons for my granddaughter, who watches The Voice and wants to sing. We even wrote up a mini-contract, where she would practice so much each day. Three generations of women...lovingly looking out for each other. All good.

Then there’s the bad. My daughter was quite sad about the election. My advice? The antidote to despair is action. Look into the local political party. Possibly run for office. She has natural leadership abilities. When the kids were in pre-school she was president of the board. Now that the kids are in elementary school, she’s president of the PTA. She’s a great fundraiser and runs a junior scout group.

So how does this relate to Religious Science?

The answer may be in the writings of Walter Starcke. We see the good, the bad, and the ugly all around us. Whether it’s the recent election or personal losses we’ve endured, Walter Starcke puts it in perspective. 

It’s necessary to find a realistic balance between living in the Absolute and the Relative world, he says, -- to find the balance between our humanity and our divinity.

It's not a matter of “one or the other,” but rather, discovering the key to doing both at the same time. God is ever present--he says. God is all there is. It’s in the bad and the ugly, as well as the good. The human and the divine are one and the same. Even Christ was flawed, and we can learn from his mistakes.

In the very controversial Martin Scorsese film, “The Last Temptation of Christ,” based on a book of the same title, Jesus struggles with his divinity. 

He is tempted with the possibility of living a regular, happy, human life -- marrying Mary Magdalene, having a family, and being free from the weight of being the savior. 



Instead of being crucified, instead of being the son of God, he experiences being a man.  On his death bed, he realizes  his mistake, and remedies the situation.

If we can accept failures, weaknesses, and the bad or the ugly in life as opportunities for expansion, growth and learning, we can evolve our own Christ consciousness. 

Knowing we are divine as well as human, knowing we are energized by spirit, knowing we can develop a positive mental atmosphere around things that concern us, we can work toward, and we can create, a world that works for everyone. 

And so it is.