The Law of Attraction in Action

A recent L.A. Times article, “A role that bit him like a spider” by Sonaiya Kelley,  discussed the latest Spider Man animated film which introduces Miles Morales, a Black and Latino incarnation of the superhero Spider-Man, into the Marvel Comics universe.  Shameik Moore, an actor, rapper, singer, and dancer of Jamaican descent, was chosen from hundreds of people who auditioned for the role.

Moore has said that he manifested the role. While filming a previous movie, a colleague gave him a journal and he began writing, “I am Miles Morales. I am Spider-Man.,” manifesting the thought into existence. He is quoted as saying, “Out of all the kids auditioning for this movie, I was chosen. How important is [the role] to me? I mean how important is it for Miles to save the universe?”

He further says: “I attracted that to me. It took a few months to really solidify it, but it ended up working out.”

This got me thinking about the Law of Attraction. It warrants a chapter in Ernest Holmes’ Science of Mind. “Thought can attract to us that which we first mentally embody, that which has become a part of our mental make-up, a part of our inner understanding. “

He adds, Our conscious and unconscious thought makes up our mental atmosphere, which is either attracting or repelling. Like attracts like. Whatever one reflects into Mind tends to take form.

Ernest Holmes didn’t invent the Law of Attraction. The concepts have been around for centuries; even Buddha and Christ alluded to it, without specifically calling it The Law of Attraction. It first appeared in print by the Russian theosophist Helena Blavatsky, and first articulated by Prientice Mulford, an early New Thought author.

Many books and Internet sites target The Law of Attraction. It’s been popularized by the film, The Secret, and several commercial enterprises are selling the secret behind “The Secret,” to really make it work. For about $50, you can learn to manifest your dreams with energetic vibrational language, or balance your intention point-- that space between heart and mind -- to send correct signals to the Universe.

Of course there are those who say the Law of Attraction doesn’t exist. Neil Farber, M.D. Ph.D., writing in Psychology Today, says that it is  “metaphysical pseudoscience with conclusions based on erroneous, unfounded, and often incorrect assumptions.” And he outlines all the erroneous assumptions, many of which I don’t find in our own teaching.

For example, he mentions the focus on material wealth with no action,  no plan, and no deadlines needed. Challenges are negative thoughts to be avoided, as is compassion -- so don’t get involved with any charity or helping the needy, which attracts more negativity and poverty. Don’t join support groups, with mental or physical problems, such as AA, which will make your problems worse. Blame yourself for any illness or negative event.

This doesn’t sound like the way we use the Law of Attraction here, or the way I’ve been using it. Spiritual Mind Treatment addresses The Law of Attraction in a way that brings the Spiritual element to the forefront, and also says: “Treat and Use Your Feet.” Be proactive.

We declare our truth in the present moment, re-framing negative thoughts to positives; we also develop plans, goals and timelines, and get support help when we need it. Therapy, medical treatments for illness are all seen as expressions of God in action. We don’t play the victim; we empower ourselves to go forward in life as co-creators with God, to manifest our dreams.

To attract the role of Miles Morales, the actor was proactive and prepared. He was co-creating with Universal Mind when he used the tools of manifestation.

And so can we all.

Fire and Smoke

“Surreal scenes unfold as a fire ‘like Armageddon’ barrels toward West Hills," screamed an L.A. Times headline yesterday. TV coverage of the Woolsey Fire confirmed this, as did a number of evacuees interviewed by news teams.

“Armageddon,” said one. “Apocalyptic," said another. Shelters for the displaced are set up; freeways closed; Pepperdine University students ordered to shelter in place. Some people camped out on Zuma Beach.
  
You’d think we’d be used to these disasters in California, but we’re not.  A whole town, Paradise, burned to the ground? The entire city of Malibu mandated to evacuate, as well as thousands of others in Calabasas, Agoura, Hidden Hills, Bell Canyon, parts of Thousand Oaks and Simi? Homes --some million dollar homes - totally destroyed, people losing everything, some losing their very lives.
 
Outside, the air smelled of smoke. I decided to stay indoors.
  
It was in December of last year that I spoke about the wildfires and high winds accelerating the spread. Then it was burning hillsides, evacuations, people driving through walls of fire, first responders battling blazes on the ground while tankers and helicopters made drops of water and fire retardant.
  
It was all very  heartbreaking and sad. Eventually the fire was contained; recovery for some is probably still going on. Now we have a repeat, and it’s worse. Residents of Thousand Oaks hadn’t recovered from the mass shooting of a few days earlier, and now this.
  
Even though we can get sucked into negative thinking by all this going on in our world of conditions, we can still feel gratitude in the enormous effort made by all the personnel and resources mobilized yet again for this devastating firestorm.
  
Through the Internet I found resources, such as the Red Cross and other volunteer organizations where we can donate funds, supplies, shelter, humanitarian help for animals and more. We know we’ll get through this, and we can also offer our prayers, our Spiritual Mind Treatments of healing love, in support.
 
 I looked in Ernest Holmes’ Science of Mind for something inspirational, and found this brief Meditation: (p.537)

“Despair gives way to joy at the thought of Thee, Indwelling Good.

I cannot be sad when I think of Thee.
My sorrow is turned to gladness and my shame to rejoicing.
My tears are wiped away and the sunlight of the Spirit shines
  through the clouds of depression and lights the way to Heaven.
 Thy Joy has made me glad.”    

And so it is.

Trust, Belief, Faith and Knowing

Recently, I was exercising on the elliptical at my local gym and, as usual, I had a paperback book to read. Upon leaving, I realized I had forgotten my book. I went back to the machines and even checked the restroom, but the book wasn’t there. So I asked the young lady at the desk if it had been turned in, which it wasn’t, and to let me know if it turned up. She took my name and telephone number to call me, and I did a Spiritual Mind Treatment on the way to the car that the book would be safely recovered. It was a library book, and it’s expensive if lost, but possible to replace more cheaply.

After a few days, when she didn’t call, I ordered a replacement from Amazon. The next time I went to the gym, she smiled as I came in and said, “I have your book.”

So I realized....I had lost faith. The Spiritual Mind Treatment went to work as soon as I declared it, but I didn’t have patience. I didn’t trust the treatment would work, and I ordered the book. Meanwhile, the treatment had been activated and book recovered.

So this is a small thing, right? Why bring it up? Because sometimes a demonstration isn’t immediate. Sometimes it’s working and we don’t know it. And in my case, my trust in the process had eroded. It was a small thing but caused me to really examine my relationship to affirmative prayer and Science of Mind.

I’ve been having a number of physical challenges this year, everything from sleep apnea, urinary tract infections, cataracts, intestinal infection, dental issues, a leg injury and to top it off, a broken toe. Then anxiety about all this and other issues around aging swirled around in my head until insomnia kicked in. So sometimes I feel like a basket case. Too much monkey mind; too much anxiety and fear.

So I decided to immerse myself in the teaching; I’m taking SOM 103 with Reverends Kathy and Jessica, and it’s bringing me back to basics. Even though I’ve taken these classes before, and even become an ordained minister. I’m finding fresh inspiration in reading again about the Principles of Successful Living, Mental Equivalents and the Law of Attraction, Spiritual Mind Treatment and meditation.

It’s not enough to simply declare our intention with our objective mind. We must work at it until the subjective mind, our unconscious mind, believes what we say. I can declare: “There is One Supreme Intelligence which governs, guides and guards, tells me what to do, when to act and how to act.” But it’s not enough to just say it: I must know it, see it, feel it and BE it; If I do this every day I can build my trust, my belief, my faith in the creative process.  Only then can I get to truly KNOWING the Truth.

Meditation helps, because this is when we can quiet the mind, relax the body, and be open and receptive to Spirit. This little book, “The Joy of Meditation,” offers different ways to meditate. I like "Letting Go With Balance.”

First, I sit in the silence and periodically let go of, and release, every problem, all fear and anxiety, until I feel a sense of freedom. Then in the second part I interject the silence with declarations that God is able -- able to heal each and every concern. With this meditation I’m working to let go of all those monkey mind anxieties, and accept my highest good. As I practice this, my goal is a more balanced, healthy life.

And so it is.

Let's Tidy Up

This month’s theme at the Granada Hills Center for Spiritual Living is “Prosperity, Abundance, Wealth.” Living in my home for 43 years, raising a family, being a wife and then a mother, and then living alone for the past 10 years, I see the material evidence, certainly, of abundance.

An abundance of stuff. I’ve decluttered at different intervals, but there’s still a lot of stuff in the house...stuff I don’t really use or need.

I recently embarked on another decluttering mission, and ended up with 12 boxes of clothes, shoes, purses, books, a straw hat and a wedding dress waiting for a truck for the take away.

I came across a little graphic novel, “The Life-changing Manga of Tidying Up, A Magical Story,” by Marie Kondo. The heroine, 29-year-old Chiaki, is living in the midst of immense clutter. She signs up for a tidying lesson with Konmari, who promises tidying up will change Chiaki’s life and fill it with joy.

Chiaki needs first to visualize her ideal lifestyle and how tidying up can dramatically change her life. Konmari says material things need to be functional, informational, emotional, or possess rarity, but most important...they must spark joy. Take each item in hand and ask: Does it spark joy when I touch it? Is this something that’s going to make me happy?

The novel proceeds with various tips:  Fold clothes rather than hang, and fold with gratitude for the way they protect you. Unread, neglected books that don’t bring joy are discarded. Store so things are easily accessible.

Sentimental items are last. The principle here:  Your life now is more important than memories of the past. What really matters is not the past but the person you have now become, thanks to those past experiences.  Space can now be used NOT for the person you once were, but for your future self.

Once the home is filled with only things that spark joy, it becomes a joyful place. Real life begins. Konmari says if people are unable to discard things, they are either attached to the past or afraid of the future. So tidying up can set ourselves free.

By clearly identifying our own joy point, she says, we can gain confidence and trust in our own future.  Space opens up for positive things to happen out of the blue, to have different experiences and more.

So I realized: 12 boxes is not enough. There is a whole lot of remaining stuff that doesn’t spark joy, that’s attached to the past, and can be discarded. Then I have the space, the mindset, the clarity,   and confidence for Spirit, as Ernest Holmes says, to manifest an abundance of whatever I need to make my life NOW happy, opulent, and joyful.

And so it is.

Come From Away

I saw segment on TV recently reporting on tourists going to Gander, Newfoundland where people are “nice.” Imagine that.  “Being Nice” is a tourist attraction, an antidote to all the negativity and non-niceness surrounding us on a daily basis. Particularly in the media.

Turns out this story is about the Canadian town of Gander, where planes were  rerouted immediately as North American airspace shut down on 9/11. By the end of the day, 7,000  "plane people" in 38 jets were waiting on the tarmac while the Red Cross, town councils and various churches strategized  the logistics of processing, feeding and bedding them down for the night.

Gander is not a huge town, not wealthy, with only basic infrastructure. Yet somehow thousands of stressed visitors of all ages, needs and languages were taken care of for a week after the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001.

People opened their hearts and homes, cooking meals, offering rides, showers, and telephones. They scoured their closets to find, sheets, blankets,  pillows and towels, while stores donated such basics as as toothbrushes and underwear, and the school bus drivers, then on strike, paused to help out.

Ten years later, two Toronto writers. Irene Sankoff and David Hein visited for the Gander anniversary celebration, and were inspired by the dancing, music and the stories to write a script for a musical called Come From Away,

“Come From Away” is a Newfoundland expression for a foreigner, or someone from beyond the province. The musical articulates the compassion and kindness Newfoundlanders showed to strangers from all over the globe during events around 9/11.

The writers interviewed the two mayors, police, volunteers, an airline captain, passengers and others, Characters in the musical speak lines taken directly from those interviews. Before opening in New York, the cast and crew performed two sold-out shows in Gander's hockey arena.

Former Gander mayor Claude Elliott has been quoted: "The tragedy. What they must have been going through — so far away, can't get home, want to be home with their family, and we all got to put ourselves in that position, and that's terrifying...And to be in a strange land."

The musical,  books as well as a documentary, send a message of how kind deeds, and opening our arms to those in need, can improve the world.

Kevin Tuerff, author of a book about his experiences, said: “I think this musical is the jump-start to the heart we need.”  Actor Rodney Hicks, who plays several characters in Come From Away, wants the musical’s feel-good message to travel beyond Broadway. “I believe it’s the universe’s design, really, all we can do is be there and tell the truth every night. This show is bigger than any of us. I want to share this with the world.”

Reviews have been mostly positive. “It’s a necessary balm for this mean time.” Deadline Hollywood.  It’s..”about community; and in this particular community, everyone’s a member..” Huffington Post. “It’s a singing reminder that when things are at their worst, people can be at their best.” New York Daily News.

Ernest Holmes would have loved this musical, because it’s about love.  He writes: “Love is the greatest power in the Universe, it is the basis and the source of everything... Love heals, forgives and makes whole... Unless we learn to love, we can’t get love in return... Love is the central flame of the Universe, nay, the very fire itself...Today, I am immersed in Love. I feel Love as a stream of light bringing Peace and Joy to every area of my life, healing every condition, and bringing harmony to my experience.”

And so it is.

Science and Science of Mind

In Religious Science, we study and apply the principles of Science of Mind developed by Ernest Holmes and his book, The Science of Mind. We learn how to do Spiritual Mind Treatment, and how to use our thoughts, words, actions and feelings as powerful tools to manifest what we desire to experience in life. It’s a metaphysical teaching, and the strength of our belief  propels us forward, knowing that as expressions of God in action, with the cosmic power of Creative Mind flowing to us, through us and for us, we are supported in our dreams and goals.

So could there be a scientific explanation for this? Dawson Church, in his book Mind to Matter, explores scientific research and discoveries that support the concept that the energy fields of our brains are literally creating reality. He examines studies in the fields of biology, physics, psychology, epigenetics, electromagnetism, wave phenomena and quantum mechanics that demonstrate how thoughts can be creative.

The idea that our individual local minds are part of the universal nonlocal mind is examined from the scientific viewpoint, supporting what we already know: we are individualized expressions of the One Source, the One Power, and we can use that power to transform our lives.

We may be able to heal ourselves because the body is constantly regenerating, replacing cells and rejuvenating itself at a frantic pace. Every second, 810,000 cells are being replaced...in blood vessels, digestive tract, heart, brain, eyes and more. And they regenerate in an energy field. The type of energy field bathing our body and in which cells regenerate determines biological outcome.

So what kind of energy fields drive the best outcome? Church  concludes, and various studies support, that when we create mental, emotional and spiritual fields of love and kindness, we provide a healthy energetic ecosystem in which our bodies regenerate.

So we need to lower our stress levels, shift our consciousness to cut our cortisol levels, and direct our mental state in a positive direction to effect healing. For example, the“bliss molecule” anandammide,  generated by meditation, has been shown to inhibit the formation of cancer cells. If we can shift and maintain positive mental states for a few weeks, then trillions of cells can be shaped by them.

In the laboratory, some of the electromagnetic frequencies that stimulate healthy cell growth are the same fields which can be generated by our consciousness on our brains.  Church looks especially at brain waves theta, alpha, gamma and delta. He teaches workshops on EcoMeditation, to train our brains in a particular ratio of brain waves to achieve a peak state.

EcoMeditation is based on best practices from a variety of disciplines, such as Heartmath, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique tapping), and Neurofeedback. (One EcoMeditation source of instruction can be found at: https://annesiret.com/eco-meditation/.)

We’re fortunate here at the Center to have workshops on meditation and Mindfulness. The scientific spin from Church’s book, Mind to Matter, can prod us to add these practices to our daily routine.

And so it is.

The Power of Vision

A recent Wall Street Journal article reminded me of the power of vision. The article, “Schwarzenegger Recalls the Good and the Bad,” by Chris Kornelis, recounts Arnold Schwarzenger’s careers and how having a vision has been key to his success.

His two terms as governor of California and sci-fi film icon status as “The Terminator” are the best known of his successes. He’s also been a real estate investor and was a millionaire even before his rise as a film star.

The article reports that Schwarzenegger says “his best and worst bets have had less to do with writing checks and more to do with investing his time and effort in getting ahead -- as well as having a clear vision of what he wanted to achieve and preparing for a job.”

As a teenager in Austria, he saw videos of the U.S.. with the Golden Gate Bridge, Empire State building, huge highways, big Cadillacs with the big wings in the back. He decided he wanted to come to America and his ticket was through bodybuilding. He began to train, joined the Austrian army, and continued to train -- always set on moving to America. After winning Mr Universe age 20, he was invited to train in the U.S. by Joe Wieder.

“Coming to America opened up all the doors that I didn’t even think about,” he says. “My movie career happened, and then my political career and the money, the millions I made, it goes on and on. Everything I have accomplished in life is because of America.”

He says he made it to America because he had a vision. As a teenager he visualized  himself on stage winning Mr. Universe and using that as entree to America.

“The No. 1 lesson of being successful is having a vision,” he says. “Because when you have a vision of where you want to go in life and what you want to be, then it is just a matter of doing the work to get there.” 


He noted one of his worst bets was taking the role in the film, “Hercules in America.”

Since he didn’t speak much English, he was instructed not to talk during the meeting with the producer. But in the film, he was in over his head with no acting training and no emotion behind his memorized lines. This set his film career back a few years.

He advises, “You have to find the sweet spot between having courage and being confident but also knowing that you’re deep into it and you’re not ready for something.” But the experience taught him an important lesson.

“We learn not only just from our success, but we learn actually more from our failures. I really learned to never do anything that you’re not really prepped, overly prepped for. Just like in bodybuilding, don’t go in the competition if you haven’t done the reps. The same is with anything else. Don’t do it if you haven’t done the reps or if you didn’t put the mileage behind it.”

I thought, “There’s an example of Science of Mind in action.” Have the vision. Make it happen. Or as in Spiritual Mind Treatment, “Treat and use your feet.” Think it. Say it. Do it. And the Universe supports you.

As Ernest Holmes says, “...our outlook on life must be transformed by the renewing of the mind, and even when the results are not immediately forthcoming, we must still maintain a calm serenity of thought. We must relight the torch of our imagination by ‘fire caught from heaven.’ We must remain faithful to this vision for a realization of the Presence of God is the secret power of our work.”   

And so it is.

The Spiral of Life

I came across mention of Fred Kofman, author of the new book, The Meaning Revolution...the Power of Transcendent Leadership, in which he argues that  companies can improve long-term growth by helping employees feel that what they do day in and day out makes a difference, that this need to belong and make a difference accounts for some 85% of employee motivation, with incentives such as salary and benefits accounting for only 15%.

The basis is that we have an unspoken and universal anxiety stemming from the fear that our life is being wasted--that the end of life will overtake us when our song is still unsung.

It reminded me of a story about Steve Jobs, convincing the CEO of Pepsi to come to Apple where he, with Jobs,  could make a “dent in the Universe” rather than devote his life to  “sugar water,” And Jobs certainly did make a “dent in the Universe” with his products. such as the iPod and iPhone.

Certainly we don’t want to leave this plane of consciousness with our song “unsung.” But what if we aren’t able to pull it off?  Should that be a major cause of anxiety? Or despair? It seems very limited, very secular, very Earth-bound in its focus. It ignores our spiritual nature, our expressions as spiritual beings having a human experience.

This quote by Ernest Holmes relates to this concept of a “wasted life.”

“The ultimate goal of life does not mean that we shall ever arrive at a spiritual destination where everything remains static and inactive.  That which to our present understanding seems an ultimate goal will, when attained, be but the starting point for a new and further evolution.  We believe in an eternal upward spiral of existence.  This is what Jesus meant when he said, ‘In my Father’s house are many mansions.’ ”

Writer Mark Gilbert interprets the quote this way:

 “Life is about the journey, not the destination. This includes in this lifetime and beyond this experience.

"Reaching some specific goals in this life or the next is a
 very limited way of looking at our spiritual experience.


"The spiral direction reminds us that not only do we go upward, we cannot veer too far from our center.  We may temporarily regress or go backwards, but ultimately life always has an upward direction, even when we think it is not headed that way. 

"The spiral also points out that we may come to what seems to be a similar step in our path as we have traversed before, but we are at a higher turn of the spiral and have a better vantage point and can see and choose what to do from this level of greater experience.



"Finally, there is an acknowledgement that when we do think we have “arrived,” no matter what that looks like, just wait–we are about to launch into a higher adventure.” 


Finding meaning in work is a positive goal. Desiring to sing our song while we still can is another worthwhile goal. It can motivate us to do, be and have what we most long for in this life.

But with a strong grip on the philosophy of Science of Mind, and a deep knowing, we can keep growing and enjoy the journey. We can look to our never ending eternal upward spiral of existence and release any anxiety about a “wasted life.”



And so it is.

Navigating Elderhood Part II

I have been in discussions with Rev. Nancy about developing a fall program focusing on Navigating Elderhood. One interesting resource is Harvey W Austin, M.D.‘s book, Elders Rock!, in which he calls on seniors, or those on that path, which includes all of us, to: “Don't Just Get Older. Become an Elder.”

There’s much more to life than simply aging, he says. We can grow wiser, more compassionate, and become a powerful contributor to the life of our families and the larger community. The world needs Elders, who have been sidelined, ignored and dis-empowered from their traditional roles as the Third Stage of Life, the wisdom givers.

With the development of towns, cities, industrialization and technology, the world view and extensive life experiences of elders have diminished and the three stages of life, Youth, Adult and Elder, have devolved to two stages, Youth and Adult. The Adult stage, with its emphasis on accumulation, exploitation of the planet, and the insatiable quest for more, is bringing the planet to an unsustainable level. Austin sees Elders as a force to bring balance to the world, to dispel the myth that old is not as good as young, and to humanize and heal society..

He acknowledges the reality of the declining body. Yes, I’ve been experiencing it lately. I could use a hearing aid, some dental implants. possibly cataract surgery and Friday night, for the first time, I tried out an APAP machine that blows air into my nose to keep my breathing channels open when I sleep. And all this is just from the neck up.

Austin’s response is “So What?” Elderhood isn’t a soccer game that demands a strong body. “Elder is not an age of life, rather it is a stage of life. It is a way of being. And it is a way of being by choice. Each of us has a choice whether to focus on the declining body, or on the upsurge of spirit that an Elder can exhibit,” he writes. Our beliefs, our perceptions, determine which path we will take. Senile or wise Elder, that’s the choice and the stand we take. He offers a prescription for Elderhood in his book.

Recently in trying to figure out where my skyrocketing heartbeat, high blood pressure and insomnia  were coming from, I decided I was experiencing good old anxiety -- something I decided to call the LAD Anxiety Syndrome. LAD stands for Loneliness, Aging and Death. The doctor said, Oh, that’s a  "phase of life" issue. It's not original to me at all, but typical of this phase of life, especially death anxiety, which is an underlying, universal and basic fear to all humans. It's also a fear we tend to put on the back burner, individually and as a culture.

Austin advises the Elder to confront death, up front and personal, rather than get stuck in denial. Your view might shift, he says. "You may conclude death is not only confrontable, but even an exciting aspect of life." I don't know about that, but as Religious Scientists, we can turn to Ernest Holmes who  says: “The experience of dying  is but the laying off of an old garment and the donning of a new one.” We simply transition into the spiritual realm.

But not yet! Before that happens, there is much that Elders can bring to the world in terms of service, and much we can do to live a life of joy, loving relationships, creative expression, leadership, conflict mediation, social activism and more. As Helen Keller said, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”

So those of us at the back end of life, who still have "gas in the tank," as Rev. Mike has said, can start where we’re at, work on ourselves to become the best that we can be, and determine how to share our unique gifts, life experience and wisdom as we navigate this daring adventure of Elderhood.  

And so it is.

Navigating Elderhood

Recently I was experiencing physical symptoms, so my process, with the help of the Internet, was to analyze them. Awakening with a skyrocketing heartbeat and blood pressure, and hearing my heartbeat as tinnitus on top of my existing tinnitus, was freaking me out.. Pulsative Tinnitus, it’s called, with various possible causes. Then insomnia kicked in. Through a process of elimination, I decided I had good old anxiety. Was this generalized anxiety? No, I narrowed it down to something I called the LAD Anxiety Syndrome, plus an overriding need for life purpose. LAD stands for loneliness, aging and death.

Loneliness: my husband transitioned, close friends died or moved away, and I was spending more time in isolation in my home. With the Internet, Amazon and Netflix, why go out? Aging: I can see the body changing in ways I don’t like. Death: it seems to be coming closer.

I mention the LAD Anxiety Syndrome to my doctor. Oh yes, that’s “phase of life issue.” I’m not so clever after all; it’s simply common for elders. It’s even in the DSM-IV, the diagnostic manual for therapists as Code V62.89 Phase of Life Problem.

Well, we can’t do much about aging. Maybe we can slow it down with vitamins, exercise and healthy lifestyle choices, but it’s happening. We can’t do much about death. Maybe we can postpone it until our nineties or even over 100, but it’s happening.

I figured the only thing I can do something about is the loneliness. Get out, make new friends, socialize even though I’m basically an introvert. Work on developing purpose and legacy for this stage of life.

On the medical front, I had my carotid artery checked, a Holter 24-hour heart test, some blood tests and a home sleep study for apnea. Doctor added a small dose of beta blocker for blood pressure and skipped heart beats.  I declined the statin for now, resisting becoming another walking basket of pharmaceuticals.

Thinking back to my studies in counseling psychology, I recognize that I’m in one of the later stages of Erik Erikson eight stages of psychosocial development. At each phase of life we face a challenge --  pursue growth and evolution or make choices that thwart it.  In Stage 7, from ages 40 through 64, we choose generativity versus stagnation. With generativity we contribute to society and support future generations, making our lives count for something. Stagnation leads to a self-centered, stagnant life.

I fall into Stage 8: from age 65 to death, the issue is integrity versus despair. If we choose integrity, we see our lives as a positive force and allow wisdom to emerge. We essentially move away from any despairing thoughts of being useless, irrelevant or burdensome, to sharing our wisdom and worth with the world.

Ernest Holmes in Science of Mind doesn’t have much to say about aging, other than old age is an idea of “race consciousness,” and that Love is stronger than any other force in the Universe. We can treat: “My life in God is ageless, deathless, abiding...I am harmonious, peaceful, free and unafraid.”

As for death, “The experience of dying  is but the laying off of an old garment and the donning of a new one.” We simply transition into the spiritual realm.

For loneliness, we can use the Law of Attraction. “..we should cultivate an attitude of friendship toward everybody and everything. The one who has learned to love all people will find plenty of people who will return that love.” He quotes Emerson: “If you want a friend, be a friend” In other words: be proactive.

Developing purpose is the same throughout life: “Conscious thought is the starting point of every new creation,”  he says. So start where we’re at, check out strengths, gifts and talents, and determine how to share them in navigating elderhood.

And so it is.

Brad's Status and Me

As a movie buff, I sometimes take my ideas for Creative Thoughts from films. Recently I saw Brad’s Status, which one reviewer called “one of the most humane movies you’ll see this year.” 

It stars Ben Stiller as Brad, who at age 47, is experiencing a midlife crisis. Youth has faded, roads have not been taken, and as he takes stock of his life he compares himself against friends from his college days.

There’s Billy, who sold his tech company at age 40 and now lives a life of luxury in Hawaii; Jason, wealthy hedge-fund manager cavorting in his private jet; Nick, a successful Hollywood director, also living a a lavish lifestyle; and Craig, a best-selling author, Harvard lecturer and political pundit. Brad fantasizes about their lives, and how his life pales by comparison.

He’s comfortable, runs a non-profit that links needy organizations to wealthy benefactors. has a loving wife who works in government, and a musical prodigy son who is Harvard material.

But it’s not enough. He’s insecure, jealous, just not measuring up to his fantasies, and time is running out. You’ll have to see the film to see how Brad works through his insecurities, how the fantasies about his friends are not what he supposes, how everyone, despite outer appearances, has their challenges in life, and how he comes  to realize what matters most in life.

The film reminded me of my own mid-life crisis, sometime in my forties. I looked at time left. What would I do with it? After some bouts of anxiety and insomnia, answers came. Time to  leave the stay-at-home mom role to go back to work, and then on to graduate school in counseling psychology. The insistent frenzy in the outer world about women’s liberation prompted me to do more, be more, and to move out of my comfort zone.

So now, some forty years later, I find myself well past the mid-life crisis and into what I call my “late-life crisis.” The ten-year anniversary of my husband’s transition is coming up, giving me pause. My old nemesis anxiety, accompanied not only by insomnia but some heart irregularities, brought me to nocturnal self-examination. 

What have I been doing for the past ten years? And not just the past ten years, but my entire life so far? Should I have done more? Been more? Somehow made more of an impression in the world? A bigger footprint? Did I waste my gifts and talents? Yadda yadda yadda! Monkey-mind was having a field day.

At these times it’s good to see what Ernest Holmes has to say. In Science of Mind he writes:  “Man does not exist for the purpose of making an impression upon his environment. He does exist to express himself in and through his environment. There is a great difference. Man does not not exist to leave a lasting impression upon his environment. Not at all. 
It is not necessary, if we should pass on to tonight, that anyone should remember that we have ever lived. All that means anything is that while we live, WE LIVE, and wherever we go from here we shall keep on living...It is quite a burden lifted when we realize that we do not have to move the world.”

In the final scene of Brad’s Status, Brad is in bed, having gone through some gentle transformations. He turns to the camera and says, “I’m alive!” He is fully present in the moment, and can experience love, joy, beauty and and all that this gift of life has to offer.

 And so it is.