Prosperity vs Frugality

 

I'm wondering about the connection between prosperity and frugality. If I live frugally, am I living with unnecessary limits, blocking the Law of Attraction and financial abundance? According to the Frugal Goddess website, many people associate frugality with lack, but frugality is actually the meeting of your values with your cash-flow.

For example, in nature, says the Goddess, nothing is wasted and we see a model for abundant frugality in its givingness and prosperity consciousness. Also, people are frugal for various reasons...perhaps forced to be frugal due to poverty, or choosing frugality in planning for larger dreams down the road, such as travel or education, or following a voluntary simplicity lifestyle focused on conscious values-based spending.

In the DVD "Low Impact Man," a New York family decides to buy nothing new for a year, and chooses to walk up the nine flights of stairs to their apartment, travel by bicycle, grow food in a community garden, and even give up electricity for a period of time.

I was inspired to give up recreational shopping. I have enough stuff and things, even though I've been reasonably frugal through the years. I live in the same house we bought over 40 years ago, always drove used cars (until a recent splurge on a hybrid), exchanged our home and even cars for European travel vacations, sent our kids to state universities, paid off credit ctd at the end of the month, and so on.

Now I'm challenging myself to really pay attention to my spending and commit to buying only what I really need or would truly enhance my life. I use the public library for books, and only buy if the library doesn't have it and I must absolutely read it. Fortunately, I love to read and the library has an excellent system for reserving books and checking online when they arrive at my local branch.

Entertainment is inexpensive through Netflix or Amazon Prime, and I fortunately have a large screen television we set up when my husband was ill and house-bound. No need for cable or satellite TV with free local digital television plus online streaming. Apparently there is a trend now among Americans to spend less, save more and reduce debt, and there are plenty of online articles on ways to accomplish this.

Jeff Yeager's book, How to Retire the Cheapskate Way, provides many tips for frugal retirement: become debt free, simple-size to save money and reduce stress, and be a good family member, friend, neighbor, community member and all-around Good Samaritan.

According to Time magazine of April 9, 207, frugality can be spiritual. "There is an older path to reducing our impact on the planet that will feel familiarr to Evangelical Christians and Buddhists alike. Live simply. Meditate. Consume less. Think more. Get to know your neighbors. Borrow when you need to and lend when asked."

These are timeless concepts on how to live your best life. True abunadance is not more stuff and things, not necessarily more and more money, but a life filled with love, harmony, good health, creative expression, purpose, friendship, community and joy.

And s it is.

Finding the Four Pillars of Life in Film

I’m a film buff. I love going to movies. And I especially love movies with grown-up ideas that, in some way, demonstrate something of value from the Four Pillars of Life: Health, Prosperity, Creative Expression or Loving Relationships.

While Words and Pictures, a romantic comedy starring Clive Owen and Juliet Binoche, did not receive particularly good reviews, it is nonetheless satisfying in dealing with themes of interest to a mature audience. The two lead characters--Owen as Mark and Binoche as Dina, are creative people struggling with their respective challenges while teaching at an Eastern prep school.

Health:
Dina, a successful professional artist who is experiencing the worsening symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis, has left New York and her successful career as a professional artist to teach art at the prep school. We see her struggling to open a bottle of pain pills, exercising on special machines, wearing braces on her hands, walking with a cane, and doing whatever it takes to continue painting her large, colorful, expressive canvases.

Mark, formerly a successful published poet, is now a blocked writer struggling with alcoholism and destructive binges which bring him to the brink of losing his job. He’s an erudite and popular teacher, yet has difficulty inspiring his students to look beyond their smartphones and apply themselves to the language arts, which he loves. He comes alive with an attraction to the new art teacher, Dina, and a lively war about the greater value of words or pictures ensures. He sobers up through AA and makes amends for some of his errors, one of which is plagiarizing a poem written by his son.

Creative Expression:
With Dina, we see the creative artist in action, the challenges she faces, and the way she forges ahead nonetheless. As she scoots along on a swivel chair, she creates huge canvases with passion and flair. The actress Binoche is an accomplished artist who has exhibited in galleries world-wide, so we experience her creative process in action. We also see how she challenges her students to paint with feeling, to seek their own inner truth.

Loving Relationships:
Of course a love story develops: boy wins girl; boy loses girl; boy regains girl. All predictable. But along the way we are treated to a the infectious passion of these creative people for their respective art forms, as well as their bantering and intellectual bickering in the tradition of Tracy and Hepburn.  We sense these adults, moving past their prime, are making a final grab for the brass ring on the carousel of life.

Prosperity: Both Mark and Dina are on the downslope in terms of career success, with Mark losing his job from his indiscretions. We expect a reversal, however. As the film and the war of words vs pictures winds down, we know these two will continue to ignite and inspire each other.

“Thought sets definite forces in Mind, relative to the individual who thinks,” says Ernest Holmes in The Science of Mind.  “We all have the ability to transcend previous experiences and rise triumphant above them, but we shall never triumph over them while we persist in going through the old mental reactions.”

Whether blocked by addictions or physical conditions, like Mark and Dina, or our own personal challenges, we can use our thoughts, our feelings, our passions, and our actions to release old mental reactions and chart a new path to the life that we desire.

And so it is.

Father's Day

 

Here's an interesting book for fathers: In Search of Fatherhood: A Mother Lode of Wisdom from the World of Daughterhood by Kevin Renner.  Inspired by his relationship with his own daughters, he interviewed some 50 women from around the world on ways their lives were influenced, for better or worse, by their fathers.

As reported by Jennifer Willis for The Oregonian, he asked questions such as:  What do I have left to teach my daughters as a father?  What will they long for that they didn’t get from me?  Although his quest involved women and daughters, I think it applies to children of both sex, particularly as I have both a son and a daughter.

While Renner heard painful stories of abuse and abandonment, he also heard stories of wonderful fatherhood.  He saw how the the father-child story can set up the entirety of a child’s life.

One of three things happens:  A child truly gets the "long straw.”...a father who is attentive and emotionally engaged, the kind of father that we would wish for everyone.  Or the child may pull the  “short straw,” in which he or she is abandoned , abused, and damaged in very significant ways.  In the middle is a child whose father was present physically, but distant due to alcohol, work or other addictions, was very attentive yet harsh, or was simply not present due to death, war or imprisonment.

It's unlikely that any father would consciously say, I'm going to give my child the “short straw."

Renner learned that small things make a big difference, and children have memories about little things that say, “You’re important.  You’re desirable. You matter. I value you.  You are valuable.” Even if they never heard the words, “I love you.” 

 I asked my own children, what is your most memorable memory of your father? David remembered an incident at the dinner table.  I, the mother, was trying to get everyone to stop mumbling speak distinctly.  “Imagine you’re dining with the Queen of England,” I said.  To which my husband, Larry responded, with a growl, expanded his chest and cried out,  “I’m the Incredible Hulk,”  as his shirt ripped open and buttons flew everywhere.   So much for royal dining conversation. Humor and fun were important.

David also remembered when Larry would go out of his way to make sure his son had experiences he wanted.  David very much craved to go to a rock concert, so Larry took him to a local club when he was around 15.  Larry stayed in the background so David could go upfront where the action was.

David began chatting with a couple sitting at one of the tables, and they offered him some weed.  He politely said “No, thanks." Then Larry drifted by to say “Hi.”  "Who's that Dude?" they wanted to know, to which David responded:  “Oh, that’s my Dad.”  They didn’t offer him any more weed, with the helicopter parent hovering.

Diana remembers a train trip we took in Holland on one of our European jaunts.  We had reserved seats in a compartment on a train, and when we got there, a man was sitting in one of our seats, the window seat.  Dad pointed  this out to the man, who wouldn’t budge.  There were still other seats in the compartment, he said brusquely.  Diana said she was somewhat ashamed, that someone would speak to her Dad that way. 

But, she said, Dad defused the situation.  Instead of being confrontational, he offered a cup of coffee to the man.  And then in true journalist fashion, began asking him questions...where was he going, was he going to work, and so forth.  And instead of a “suckie” trip, says Diana, with people resentful, angry, or sitting in silence, we connected with an interesting European man and had a fabulous trip.  She says she remembers that incident when faced with a dramatic or potentially confrontational  situation, and looks for ways to make the connection, human to human, the way her father did that day.

In terms of Kevin Renner’s book, I would conclude that my kids got the “long straw,” a father who is attentive and emotionally engaged.... the kind of father that we would wish for everybody in the world.  

For myself, my own father was caring, but emotionally distant. He was from Sweden, tended to be stoic, and relied on our mother to be the "family switchboard." We three children (I have two brothers) knew he was proud of us because she told us so. I don't recall any in-depth conversations with Father, but many with Mother. Still, he took care of us in the important ways, and we had a solid upbringing. Our straw was in the upper-middle range.

About six months before he died, he and Mother made their last cross-country visit to my family in California. He must have known that death was not far off. At the door, as he was leaving, he turned and shook my hand, and said: "It was nice knowing you."

That was a wonderful moment for both of us...his way of saying, "I love you." It's one of my fondest memories of him.

And so it is

Pure Love in Maleficent and Frozen

I’ve been to the movies again. On its opening day, I went to see Disney’s Maleficent and when I came home a copy of Frozen was waiting for me from Netflix. So I saw both films the same day.

And I was very pleasantly surprised. I haven’t watched Disney films since my own kids were little, and a girl, usually a princess or soon-to-be princess, is saved from whatever dire circumstance she finds herself in...by the prince, or some stalwart male.

I remember the song, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” and that story has had a huge impact on many girls and women. Snow White in her glass coffin is awakened by the Prince’s kiss; Sleeping Beauty in her unconscious state, after pricking her finger on the spindle, is awakened by the Prince’s kiss...the kiss of true love, and so on. We wait in anxious expectation of being saved by our prince, preferably on a white horse.

But what do you know? Disney has changed the story. And if I may quote Ernest Holmes, our illustrious founder of Religious Science, “Love points the way.” 

True love or pure love, in these films, the love that saves the day, that saves the princesses from their terrible fates, in not true love’s kiss from the prince. No, it’s sisterly love, the love of self-sacrifice that unfreezes the frozen Ana. And it’s motherly love, from the evil fairy godmother now regretful of her early, vengeful curse and now herself transformed by pure love, which awakens Aurora from her deathly sleep.

So I thought, how wonderful that my granddaughter is growing up on these stories that show females to be strong, independent, courageous and loving, rather than meek, passive and submissive. 

The stories we tell ourselves are important, and many of the stories in films today are about the exploits of men and boys. Stories of war, conflict, fighting and the explosions, death and destruction that accompany them.

I see a lot of action films, and I enjoy them, but it’s like a breath of fresh air to see a film that extols the value of love--and love that goes beyond romantic love, or lustful love, to the pure essence of love. Even when women are protagonists in films today, such as The Hunger Games or Divergent, they are imitating male behavior. Fight, fight, fight.

Apparently Frozen and Maleficent are successful commercially, making millions of dollars for Disney. Some critics feel Maleficent is hijacking Frozen’s storyline, as though the concept of pure love can be hijacked. It’s something we intuitively know, and perhaps are desperately thirsting for, after a steady diet of male-dominated violence and death in film after film.

So what is pure love? From John 13:34, 35 in The Science of Mind we read:

 “Love is an essence, an atmosphere, which defies analysis, as does Life Itself. It is that which IS and cannot be explained; it is common to all people, to all animal life, and evident in the response of plants to those who love them. Love reigns supreme over all.

 “The essence of love while elusive, pervades everything, fires the heart, stimulates the emotions, renews the soul and proclaims the Spirit. Only love knows love, and love knows only love. Words cannot express its depths or meaning. A universal sense alone bears witness to the divine fact: God is Love and Love is God.

And so it is.