Sad and Lonely Life

My family recently visited for the holidays, and we had a wonderful time. I commented to my grandson, who is 11, that it was so nice to have the family visiting, and to hear the sounds of fun and laughter in the house. To which he replied, "...and when we leave, Grandmama, you'll go back to your sad and lonely life."
   
Wow! My sad and lonely life! I added that to a question my son-in- law made on a previous visit, "Why are you still living in this relic?"

Hmmm!
  
 AM I living a sad and lonely life?... in my relic? No roommates, no pets...not even a goldfish, here in the home I've occupied some 44 years, the last eight years alone.  I don't feel sad and lonely. Basically I feel happy and connected. And as for the relic, I'm the queen of my domain and I like it.
   
I wondered what an Internet search would bring up for "sad and lonely life."  Whoa!  Pages upon pages.  Topping  the list was an article about "Donald Trump’s Sad, Lonely Life." Really?

Other links were: “Being Single: How to Handle Loneliness," "10 More Ideas to Help with Loneliness," "I am So Sad and Lonely that It is Killing Me," and articles, poems, song lyrics and images with poetic quotes. Amazon had entire books on sad and lonely, plus books on happiness - the basic cure.
  
 A sad and lonely elderly life search yielded links to articles and images of sad and lonely older people and how to help them.
  My grandson’s comment about my sad and lonely life reflected the perception, the race consciousness, that if we're living alone, we're destined to be sad and lonely.
   
An antidote to this attitude is in the book, Going Solo, the Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone by Eric Klinenberg, professor of sociology at NYU. 
  
According to his studies, a huge demographic shift has been taking place since the baby boom, with nearly 50% of American adults now single and one out of every seven adults living alone.  In 1950, only 22% of American adults were single. And most singletons, young and old, are now leading happy, active, and fulfilling lives.
   
This preference for the single life is happening globally. Klinenberg asks: “Why has living alone become so common in the world's most affluent societies? What makes it so compelling?” 
   
"Living alone helps us pursue sacred modern values --individual freedom, personal control and self-realization", he says.  "It allows us to do what we want, when we want, on our own terms. It liberates us from the constraints of a domestic partner’s needs and demands, and permits us to focus on ourselves.” Also,  it offers time and space for restorative solitude from busy lives and digital media.
  
 “It can help us to discover who we are, as well as what gives us meaning and purpose,” he adds. Although we could see this as very self-centered and selfish, it's a validating and uplifting message for the many singletons.

But if we're in that sad and lonely place, how can we be happy and connected? Emerson says: "If you want a friend, be a friend." Ernest Holmes says, "Cultivate an attitude of friendship toward everybody and everything. Learn to love all people, and you'll find plenty of people who return that love. We attract to us what we first become."

If our mental atmosphere is one of sadness and loneliness, then that is what we attract. That is what we become. 

Bottom line: send out love vibrations to become a love and friendship magnet.  As to sadness, he says,  “There is no sadness in the Spirit. It is happy and free, for It knows neither depression nor confusion, and we belong to It, and are in and of It"
    
So...sad and lonely, or happy and connected? It's our choice.

And so it is.